LOVE this...

"You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big... question: Is that okay? Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." ~Jim Rohn

 

Birthday number 28

So today I turned 28 years old.  I know this is not a significant birthday.  I'm not a new driver, I've had the ability to buy lottery tickets and alcohol for years now, and my car insurance premiums have been lower for some time.  Nothing is important or special about being 28, but nonetheless I have been doing a lot of reflecting today.
For the last 7 years I have spent each birthday very depressed.  OK not very depressed, but not happy with myself.  I don't want to sound ungrateful, I know I have a wonderful life.  But you know how you have goals for yourself?  Or you thought life would be one way at a certain time... and then it's not that way?  That is how I feel on my birthdays.
I'm grateful for my health and for my family and for the comforts that I enjoy in life, but I get very down because I just don't ever feel like I am who I thought I would be.  Or, I haven't achieved what I want to have achieved at this point. 
When I was a teenager I would think of what I wanted to have achieved by the time I turned 25.  I thought I would have a masters degree, be living in some fabulous city like New York or Paris, have a job that I loved, and maybe be thinking about getting married.  I know that all sounds so juvenille!  The older you get you do realize what is actually important... I mean PARIS... really? 
Still with every passing brithday I have felt sad that I have no degree to hang on my wall, or sit in a file in the file cabinet.  It has been hard for me to think about not achieving that goal.   When I turned 20 my goal was to have an undergrad by the time I turned 30... at 24 that date got moved 40 years of age and the dream of having a masters was no longer in the cards.  I refused to believe that it would never happen, but I also was getting more and more sad each that came by with no more progress completed.
But today I turn 28 and I am a full-time college student!!!!  OK not right now... but I'm enrolled full time in the fall!  I completed goverment earlier this summer, I'll be taking government 2 in July, then full-time starting August 30th!  I can't begin to describe the relief I feel to be able to see the finish line.  It is still far off, but I have started the race!
Thanks to my wonderful and understanding husband I'm on the road to getting my BSN (Bachelor's in nursing) and then after that I don't know what... PA, NP, CRNA, MSN... maybe something else!!!!  I have always told Kelly that I wanted to go back to school and he always told me he supported me wanting to do that.  Seven months ago I approached him with a new dream in mind.  He listened to me and never once laughed.  Even I was suprised at what I was telling him... Me, in the medical feild.... seriously?!? 
Kelly listened and took me seriously and when I was done he said "Let's make a plan."  I'm so grateful to have a best friend and companion who believes in me and supports me. 
We made our plan and now we are "working" that plan.  We will be moving back to Houston to continue my schooling, I will work really hard to make good grades and Kelly will play Mr. Mom when he's not flying.
This birthday is not depressing.  I'm older and that sucks!  I have adult acne and I'm carrying baby weight in unattractive places... but I'm still not sad.  For me 28 marks the end of one of my great life's adventures  -  my life here on Guam; and the beginning of the next great adventure - road to BSN and beyond!
I spent my birthday getting beautiful homemade cards from Liam and Arie.  They glued starburst on the cards and then ate the starburst before I could get to them :)  Then I opened my present form Kelly and my Mom... my MACBOOK!!!!!  I feel like an official student now!  Our friends Bear and Erin watched our kids so that Kelly and I could go on a hike and then snorkel.  FYI for anyone who wants to know... don't take your Lab snorkeling!  Jet was having so much fun swimming next to us she almost drowned us!  We gave up on snorkeling after about 10 mintues and swam back to shore with scratches all over our bodies!  It was still a fun time with the hubby though.  Next we picked up some Indian Food and then ate at home. 
So far 28 is great!  I'm so thankful to be healthy and to be living on a beautiful island with the man and kids that I love!  I'm not much for getting older, but I can't wait to see what I've accomplished when I hit 29.